Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Dinner Conversation

Brad and I are always going off on trains of thought that lead to amusing conclusions. Tonight we we started talking about oral sex. I said that there ought to be a man douche, something for the whole shebang. It would take care of the frontal and backside and it could be scented according to gender preference. I insisted that there was a market for this especially amongst the faumosexuals (i.e. metrosexuals). Man douche of the hetero variety could have a pleasing potpourri scent that could appeal to the feminine senses. The homo variety could have a more masculine appeal. I guess something along the lines of musky hues of odors.

Then Brad brought up the fact that the whole idea of hetero oral sex is about humiliation. If you look at hetero porn the latest rage is ATM (ass to mouth). Its all about making the woman do something horribly uncomfortable and degrading. Man douche would totally defeat that purpose so nix that. No straight man wants a woman enjoying his fellatio, all the eroticism is lost.

So then I thought about the extremes in gay sex. The leather bondage scene in particular. I thought out loud to Brad, "If extreme sex is about making the other person do something that they really don't want to do, really degrading them, then I don't see what's so extreme about a bunch of queens parading around in leather calling one another master, daddy, boy or bitch. If you want to get really extreme make a gay man have hetero sex."

Brad paused a minute and eventually concluded, "The most twisted gay sex is hetero sex."


Blogger tornwordo said...

What do you know about this ATM stuff? I mean really? The guy crams the girl's face into his ass for rimming? I've never heard of that, but it's a disturbing picture that is evoked in my head.

4:52 AM  
Blogger Mizez Slocombe said...

Funny you should mention this, because there's a LOT of discussion on Cirque Noir, a Titan gay porn feature that is featuring a F-T-M transexual leather daddy with a fully intact vagina. Is the vagina the last frontier for gay porn?

See fleshbot discussion and links here:

5:03 AM  
Blogger tornwordo said...

OMG, while perusing other blogs, someone else spoke of what you mentioned. I got it all wrong. You meant the guy fucks the girl in her ass and then pulls out and wants the girl to suck all her own butt juice off of his dick.

This is even more disturbing!!!

5:05 AM  
Blogger Spider said...

I can't imagine drinking something that is also going to clean my ass out - can't imagine how plesant that would be. Great concept, easy, simple and one stop shopping, but needs a little refinement - maybe over lunch today you and Brad can refine this a bit!

6:47 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

penis potpourri?

Oh Jim, would you like me to smell like 'summer breeze' or 'misty meadows' tonight?


and then getting into vaginas? Man that just makes my willy want to run and hide.

7:48 AM  
Blogger tim said...


7:53 AM  
Blogger jjd said...

um, ew? That's almost as bad as, whatiscalled felching? ICK.

As to your final conclusion, all I can say is "deep", now stop bogartin the joint.

7:58 AM  
Blogger DanNation said...

I would never partake in such shananigans...I'm leaving!

11:18 AM  
Blogger Spider said...

Hey - lets not dismiss the felching thing until you have tried it...

12:41 PM  
Blogger Knute123 said...

omg that is gross. I've never seen that in my perusal of hetero porn. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.

Porn has always struck me as having this resemblence to slavery. Don't get me wrong, every fetish known to man has been put on tape at this point, but the large majority of what's produced tends to fall into the realm of making women do things they would find uncomfortable. Drinking jizm out of a shot glass for instance. I'm always puzzled by that one.

I don't care how much of a freak you think you are, no one on this Earth enjoys that as a pasttime. Do they?

1:40 PM  
Blogger jeremy said...

when you were talking about 'man-douche' it reminded me of the scene in 'election' when matthew broderick is washing his area.

1:49 PM  
Blogger Hypoxic said...

LOL@ jjd's "now stop bogartin the joint"!

6:08 PM  
Blogger Nathan said...

hmm I've never had a conversation like that at dinner. actually I've never had a conversation like that anywhere.

just when I think I'm a sickly perverted man, there is always someone more sick to make me look mild.

Thanks Adam :D

9:10 PM  

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