Friday, January 27, 2006

Bathroom Reflections

Nathan has put me in the mood to talk about toilets due to his last couple of posts.

There is a design flaw (some may see it as an advantage) in the bathroom at my work. The majority of the floor in the bathroom is covered in a dark slate colored tile of the typical one square foot variety. Most of the tiles have a matte finish save the two rows of tile adjacent to the wall of the bathroom that has the urinals and the toilet attached to it. Those tiles have a high gloss sheen on them.

Lets put two and two together: Dark colored tile + high gloss sheen = Mirror!

Therefore if the person next to you looks down while using the urinal they will have a clearly visible reflection of you from the bottom up whilst you're doing your business. Furthermore if you use the urinal next to the toilet stall you can clearly see the sides of one's ass and witness them wiping up if you look down to check your stream at the wrong moment.

The person that laid this tile was 1.) an incredible perv 2.) had a very elaborate and twisted sense of humor or 3.) completely ignorant of the laws of physics and indices of reflection. I find no one at my place of work even remotely attractive not to mention that I am extremely professional and taken. Therefore when I use the urinal you will know its me without seeing my face because my face is nearly parallel to the ceiling.


Blogger John said...

OMG! When I worked over at Big Blue, the bathroom there had glossy, dark green tiled walls. The dividers between the stalls were attached to the walls but there was about a 3/4" gap. It was just enough angle to totally see the person pooping next to you if you were facing the wall. The day I discovered this was the last day I pooped in that potty.

9:20 AM  
Blogger Nathan said...

Ha! That's terrible Adam!

I've been to airports like that. Totally perverted, but a little hot in its own fucked up way.

9:26 AM  
Blogger Spider said...

The amazing things gay men notice - be it due to style or just perversion. I am sure no one even took that into account in the design or selection of tile...

9:58 AM  
Blogger DanNation said...

At The Paramount Hotel on W. 46th Street in NYC, the men's room off the lobby has completely mirrored walls. When you piss in the urinal, you literally see everyone's bizness. It's a stupid design...

10:23 AM  
Blogger Ed said...

Gosh...that sucks. Sorta like putting urinals right next to each other with no dividers....I HATE that. Fuck, why even put urinals? Just install a trough..same thing. Of course, unless the guy next to me is drop dead gorgeous.

11:21 AM  
Blogger Knute123 said...

What is with the forced public display in the first place? Do guys actually like using urinals as opposed to toilets? I've never understood it. I guess I'm just used to the female bathrooms. We never have to squat over a piss pot to relieve ourselves in a crowded room.

12:17 PM  
Blogger Seeker Onos said...

In 99% of the cases for me, the "piss trough" is a thing of fear and horror and abject loathing.

The only time I might think such a think to be good *might* be at a place like the XL Lounge in NYC, as many of the patrons there will be worth an "accidental glance".

As for the tiles.... I can only guess that the installer originally thought... "Hey, if I put down these glossy tiles, the spillage will clean up more easily.

Or perhaps he was just a pervy guy with a warped sense of humour.

1:28 PM  
Blogger jeremy said...

possibly - matte, harder to clean. gloss - a little easier to clean?

1:30 PM  
Blogger woe said...

lol. sounds like a lot of pottys in these parts High Gloss surfaces are in vogue.

I see my verification word ends with pee. How appropriate

1:38 PM  
Blogger John said...

Interesting things people write on bathroom walls:

11:16 AM  
Blogger Sunshine said...

The fact that you noticed this was kind of disturbing. :P

4:00 PM  

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