We met in November of 2000. It was his birthday.

I was a junior at the University of Arizona in Tucson and I was living in the dorms. I was supposed to move into a terrific historic property with a friend but when my dad found out about the huge party I had thrown at my parents house in the summer before the fall semester he changed all that. My dad said that I was "not responsible enough to live on my own in light of the egregious act of mistrust" that I had committed. I never had any regrets for having that party. We converted the living room into an ad hoc disco, black lights and all and we gave out packs of cigarettes as party favors. Tons of people, it was fabulous. In any case I was miserable that November. I had gotten into a car accident on the freeway in Phoenix after coming home from a road trip to California over the Veterans day holiday and when my dad found out the shit hit the fan. He took away my car and when he found out I was $5000 in credit card debt he flipped his lid. I had disappointed him so much that he began to think the worst about me. After he had calmed down for a bit he asked me, "Did you buy drugs with your credit cards?" To which I replied, "Dad I'm not a fool I but my drugs with cash. I know not to leave a paper trail."

So on that particular November night I was feeling particularly low so I turned to the place that I knew would make me feel better. Gay.com. There I was able to muster the attention and adulation of many a gentleman caller and screw my worries away if just for a couple of hours at a time. On that particular night I got an IM from someone. We chatted for a bit; the usual questions bounced back and forth. We agreed to meet that night.

I went down to the front of my dorm and waited for him to show. I was to be looking for a green Honda Civic. He showed. Immediately I thought he was cute, pretty blue eyes, full brown hair that led down to reddish sideburns, and just the right amount of nerdiness sprinkled in. To top it all off he was short like me. Never underestimate the power of the matching principle. I got into his car with some trepidation even though I had been in this situation many times before.

He drove us to the back of his apartment where he parked his car. It was dark and all I could see was a dumpster and a building with a window above eye level with bars on it and a soft white light bulb in the room it viewed into. I thought at that moment that my life of wretched excess had finally brought me to my demise. That room with the light bulb was where I'd be chopped into a million little pieces and I'd be disposed of little by little into the dumpster out back.



We got out of his car and we walked away from the creepy room and through a gate that led into a cute backyard with a large pinon tree. Once in his small studio apartment we shared the familiar awkward gaze at one another and I looked around. He was a true nerd, more books than furniture and he had an Alien figurine. "I like the art of Giger." he said. I nodded not knowing who Giger was, but thinking that a Sigourney Weaver doll would have been something I might have if I could find one so I excused it. Then my eye wandered and I saw a small framed print of a Lichtenstein painting, (The Melody Haunts My) Reverie. I was a fan of Andy Warhol and Lichtenstein was my second favorite artist at the time. I mentioned it we conversed and bonded immediately. Much making out ensued. It was the first time I didn't have sex after just meeting a guy from Gay.com.

That was a Wednesday. He called me on Thursday afternoon to ask me to a movie. I was walking with my friend Lindsay to the student union when I recieved his call on my cell. After hanging up I was so excited to have another date with him I jumped up and down with pure unadulterated joy. All of my other problems, worries, and concerns melted away now that I had met Brad.

In the five years that Brad and I have been together we have always had the conundrum of determining when to celebrate our anniversary. We thought we'd just celebrate it on his birthday but that, in good faith, was Brad's day. It seemed wrong to combine the two but we could never decide when to make a day to celebrate our anniversary. Now that we're starting a new chapter in our lives with our first home we decided that January 30th is our anniversary. In our first night, settled, in our new home we celebrated five years of trust, love, laughing, crying, snuggling, fighting, making up, and being silly with each other in the privacy of our own home. I am so fortunate to have him in my life. He is the man who is responsible for much of who I am today. I don't know how it was that we found each other but I know I can't imagine life without him.

I love you Brad. I'm glad you didn't chop me up into a million little pieces and making me a fan of the Alien movies.