Wednesday, November 16, 2005

I am, therefore I blog.

Many of you have written me and told me that there are rumors that I am going to stop blogging. There is nothing that could be further from the truth. I have no intention to stop blogging and I guess there was a misinterpretation of something that I wrote in a previous post. No worries though.

Unless the information police come and take me away to some undisclosed location, lock me up in a prison that doesnt exist somewhere in a former Soviet Bloc nation, subject me to watching Dick Cheney dance naked to the Electric Slide, and take away my internet access I will not stop blogging.

Plank's Constant: 6.626068 × 10-34 m2 kg / s
Speed of Light: 299 792 458 m / s
Avagadro's Number: 6.022 x 10^23
Gravity: 3.2 m/s^2
Adam's Blog: value being computed as we speak
(Please note that the aforementioned physical constants may vary between school districts across the nation are subject to change at any moment pursuant to the lessons that are written in the bible; taught by our lord and savior Jesus Christ.)

And now for very first meme that I found on Sticky Crows. I was not tagged to do this but I thought these questions to be fun so I participated.

1) My mother once: didnt know I was getting out of the car at the mall and started to drive away while I was half way out of the car. I was screaming for her to stop but somehow didn't hear me and my grandmother was screaming at her to stop the car. I got scraped up pretty bad and was more scared than anything. She bought me a happy meal and a lego set.

2) Never in my life: have I broken a bone.

3) When I was five: I fell asleep and was snoring loudly at an opera in Naples. There was a man near me who was sleeping too and another gentleman thought that man was snoring, woke him up, and proceeded to get into a verbal fight during the opera. I was roused by this activity and woke up to see my dad explaining to the two men that it was me, to which they replied, "Oh! Bambino!! Spiacente, lascilo dormire." Translated to, "Oh! The baby! So sorry, let him sleep."

4) High School was/is: overall really great.

5) I will never forget: The night my brother came home from picking my grandmother up from the airport, storming into the house while the rest of us were eating dinner, walked up to my mom and called her a bitch for some reason unbeknownst to me. The outburst was followed by my grandmother, who was 77 at the time, grabbing my brother and slapping him across the face proclaiming, "Thats your mother!"

6) I once met: Julie Newmar. My brother Douglas pointed out that I was sitting next to her the night I saw "Me and My Girl" at the Marquis theatre. At the time I was a huge fan of the reruns of Batman and couldn't help but tell her that I loved her as Catwoman. She thanked me and told me I was a handsome little boy.

7) There's this person I know who: said that my first, and somewhat lackluster, attempt at making a loaf of bread was like having sex for the first time and that it would get better each time I tried again.

8) Once, at a bar: in Mexico I got up and danced to "Larger Than Life" by the Backstreet Boys to the exact choreography that was in the music video.

9) By noon I'm usually: eating lunch with my colleagues.

10) Last night I: had brisket tacos at Mia's followed by red velvet cake for Brad's birthday.

11) If I only had: steroids.

12) Next time I go to church/temple: i'll attempt to make the sermon an open forum by asking questions to clarify some of the incongruencies and contradictions that exist between christian philosophy and practice.

13) Terri Schiavo: was a ball of insentient bio-mass that was lionized and deified for evangelicals and conservatives that have a fetish for fetuses and other forms of "soul bearing life."

14) I like: Barcelona.

15) When I turn my head left, I see: a refrigerator.

16) When I turn my head right, I see: -86C freezer.

17) You know I'm lying when: I stopped lying when I realized that I had continuity issues with all the fantastic stories I was telling.

18) In grade school: I had a hammer thrown at me by my third grade teacher.

19) If I was a character written by Shakespeare: a mix of Prospero (The Tempest), Katherine (Taming of The Shrew), and Mercutio (Romeo and Juliet).

20) By this time next year I: hope to be living in a home that I own.

21) A better name for me would be: in high school my friends called me Billions.

22) I have a hard time understanding: alcoholism, sexual identity disorder, and "conservative values."

23) If I ever go back to school I'll: study italian, spanish, and architechture.

24) You know I like you if: I tell you I do.

25) If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: depends on the award.

26) I hope that: that US voters elect a benevolent dictator in 2008.

27) Take my advice: Disneyland is far more fun when you're stoned.

28) My ideal breakfast is: Machaca, egg, and potato burrito at Nico's in Tucson.

29) A song I love, but do not have is: when I think of it I'll go download it from iTunes and this question will be moot.

30) If you visit my hometown, I suggest: (I'm not from Dallas but I live here now) Going to see the sixth floor museum and where Kennedy was shot, see the collection of sculpture at the Nasher Sculpture Center, and go to Nieman Marcus at Northpark Center on sunday morning to see all the trophy wives getting free samples and facials from Dallas' cosmetic counter gurus.

31) Tulips, character flaws, microchips & track stars: Make me think of spring, makes Curb Your Enthusiasm a fantastic show, befuddle me, don't eat enough.

32) Why won't anyone: invent teletransportation already.

33) If you spend the night at my house: you will have a lovely queen sized aerobed classic that inflates in less than one minute to sleep on and a fresh towel.

34) I'd stop my wedding: uh too late the voters of Texas already stopped it for me.

35) The world could do without: religion.

36) I'd rather lick the belly of a roach than: support and vote for another pansycrat candidate and his made-for-television movie thinks he's Bill Clinton, John Kennedy, Cary Grant, and a bag of chips vice presidential candidate sidekick.

37) My favorite is: Brad!

38) Paper clips are more useful than: bibles.

40) And by the way: i'm not an afterthought kind of person.

41) The last time I was drunk: I tried to convince my friends Heather and Kim to dump their boyfriends and become my personal manufactured lesbian couple.

42) My grandmother always: spoke her mind, made sure she looked presentable before leaving the house or receiving guests, had the best stories, and told me how much she loved me and that I was her favorite grandchild.


Blogger Ariel1980 said...

Your meme seems more interesting than most. I would love to read more tales of your grandmother: she sounds a force to be reckoned with.

4:22 PM  
Blogger Kody said...

Great meme! Boy, that Sticky Crows still gets around!

P.S.- Love your comments on religion. I agree....

8:20 PM  
Blogger tornwordo said...

Hey, thanks for the shout out. And it's your first? Well done. I loved the bit about your brother/mom/grandma.

6:05 AM  
Blogger BRETTCAJUN said...


I corrected my reporting about your blog. I misinterpreted a comment you had put on one of my blogposts. Sorry about that buddy!

Glad to see that you aren't going anywhere! I look forward too many insightful blogposts and gratuitous pictures of your studly self. ;)

8:38 AM  
Blogger tim said...

I loved the Sixth Floor Museum. But then I loved Dallas period.

10:05 AM  
Blogger GayProf said...

Oh. My. God. Julie Newmar? I am green with envy. Did she purr at you?

10:32 AM  
Blogger Jim said...

Whew! I'm glad to know that you're not bailing blog world!
Your meme is great... I totally agree with you about religion. And I loved your Terry Schiavo perspective... so right on!

3:57 PM  

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